Miracles

Today was a miracle. Kolton and I have been praying every night, sometimes several times a day, for my strength and ability to get through my days in less pain. Today we went to an Arboretum out here, near his college. I didn’t use my cane! I almost always have to walk with a cane. There is no choice. My legs hurt too much, and I have little to no balance. I walked for 2 hours without it! (Over 5,900 steps!) Most of our time was spent in the children’s area. It was huge! I ran in the snow. I climbed through a tunnel on my hands and knees! I ran uphill. I played in a playground, rope bridges and everything… I haven’t been able to do any of these things since pretty much sixth grade, 9 years now. 2 full hours, in the snow, with under 25 degree F weather. I’m in shock… Kolton barely helped me, I was running ahead of him because I was so excited. I’m in pain, yes, and I was the entire time, but not nearly as bad as it usually is. I was on medication, but I almost always am during the winter.

When I ran to the top of the hill, Kolton and I stood there praying for a while, thanking God. I can’t think of anything else that could be the cause of this. It has to be a blessing from God… I have tried so many other things. Just last Sunday I accepted Jesus into my life… Ever since then miracles have been happening in my life. I am so blessed… I never realized how much God loved me… I honestly always thought that God hated me, that he disowned me and forgot about me… I now see how wrong I was…

Kolton even bought me a souvenier so I can remember this miraculous day. He bought two hedgehog puppets and a lollipop made out of pure honey! The hedgehog puppets are so very cute!

After I take a short nap, Kolton and I are going over to his dad’s house to help them decorate the tree and put up lights. I’m so excited! We are going to have a puppet show too!

I need to post more.

I keep forgetting I have a blog, haha. I have a reminder note now on my desk, so hopefully I will begin blogging again. Life has been busy, as usual. I finished my fall term (thank god) and passed all of my classes. I only got 1 C, 1 B and the rest A’s! That’s amazing, especially since I’ve been so sick. One of my courses is incomplete, as my professor is letting me take the final once I feel prepared. He wants me to get the grade I deserve, not the grade my medicine will force me to get.

Right now I am taking a course called “Disability Issues in Career Development,” which is super interesting.

I don’t know what else to write right now.

I have been as busy as a bee.

I am so sorry I haven’t posted in a long time! I’ve had a tough time this term at school. I see my neurologist tonight, so I’m hoping it will go better!

The last time I saw my neurologist, he had me wean off of Cymbalta and start Savella. Five days into taking Savella, I had a severe reaction to it. The morning of the first day of the reaction I fell off of my bike and only made it to my first class. My feet, ankles, and legs were extremely swollen to the point where I could not walk. I also became nauseas and had extreme bouts of vertigo. I was told to stop Savella immediately. I ended up missing an entire week of classes because of the reaction!

I have been off of anti-depressants since, minus my 100mg of Doxepin for sleep. It’s been three weeks now. I honestly forgot why I originally went onto anti-depressants. Due to my fibromyalgia, my dopamine levels are lower than they should be. Add that to chronic depression and things get pretty bleak. It’s like the color that I used to see isn’t there like it used to be… I’ve noticed that I’ve been eating carbs and chocolate a lot! I’ve never been an emotional eater EVER, and suddenly whenever I get upset I want chocolate. My counselor says this is because of the dopamine levels dropping and that the carbs and chocolate boost it back up temporary. It’s only then that I see the world like I used to. It’s really different… I’m praying that my doctor puts me on a new anti-depressant tonight. It’s really hard to get through life like this. All I want to do is sleep or lay in bed, just laying there.

Other than dealing with my normal health problems, I have been rather paranoid about H1N1 flu! It has hit my college campus and a few of my friends. Last night I had a fever of 99.4°F and was having some difficulty breathing. I’m a part of the high-risk group for H1N1 because I have asthma and I am under 25. I live in a dorm too, which doesn’t help. My mother wants me to get an H1N1 vaccine next week and I am torn on the decision. A few people on Twitter have told me that it is not suggested for people with FMS, but I have asthma and I work with kindergarteners.

I have a job! It’s a temp job, but still! I have been working as a teacher’s assistant on the weekends. It’s only 8 weeks and $25 a week… All of the money is going to my credit card. Before I got sick last November, I had my credit card total down to $300. However, interest has eaten it up because I’ve only been able to make small payments… Right now I owe like $750. It is such a burden. I’m praying that this will help and that I will be able to find a job next term so I can keep making these payments… I’m really scared that I won’t be able to find work.

That’s a rather basic update on what’s been going on, but hopefully I will be updating much more often now! I am so sorry again!

Long Summer Days…

Things have been extremely stressful in my life recently. I can’t even begin to explain it all. I’ve been flaring for a few days now… Yuck.

My pain levels are so high. I go to see a neurologist this afternoon that was recommended to me by a fibromite. I hope it goes well… It’s so hard to deal with this…

I’m not taking any medicine until after the appointment. Blah.

Lovely Days…

Hi everyone! I hope that everyone is doing well. Today went well. Kolton and I went to a really nice dinner. The weather is really horrid right now, but I’m feeling okay… I ended up having to take some medicine because of it. Now I’m feeling a lot better that the medicine has kicked in.

The dinner was so very nice tonight. Kolton and I went to a really nice Italian restaurant that I love. It was just amazing.

1 month and 7 days until I start school back up. I’m excited to be going back! Hopefully this year will go much better than last year did.