Oh no…

Life is bad. My application for a private student loan was denied. I haven’t been able to work since November and have absolutely no money. I haven’t been eating much because I have no money and I don’t want to ask my parents for any… I know we’re not that great financially right now. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been studying almost all day and I can’t remember anything. I’m in so much pain I just want to scream. I had another asthma attack last night. I keep getting sicker and sicker. I just don’t know what to do anymore… Tomorrow I move out of my dorm and back home. Two finals tomorrow. One test tonight, that I know I’m going to fail. I really just want to go far away for a while. I really just need a break before I lose it completely and snap. My surgery is in less than a month. I have my physical for the surgery on Friday.

I’m in a really bad place right now. I can’t stop crying or shaking. I just can’t handle all of this stress and pressure anymore, nor can I continue pretending that everything is okay. I really wish I still had a therapist. I think I’m in the middle of a breakdown.